{"id":1536,"date":"2018-11-25T14:30:17","date_gmt":"2018-11-25T22:30:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1536"},"modified":"2018-11-25T14:30:17","modified_gmt":"2018-11-25T22:30:17","slug":"millennials-take-break-coifing-man-buns-begin-another-irritating-trend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1536","title":{"rendered":"Millennials take a break from coifing their man-buns to begin another irritating trend"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>There is a recent trend among millennials.\u00a0 They have taken a break from coifing their man-buns and drinking \u201clocally roasted\u201d \u201csmall batch\u201d coffee, to start a new irritating trend.\u00a0 They\u2019re buying record players.\u00a0 I first noticed this when my millennial daughter bought one.\u00a0 Then my millennial nephew.\u00a0 It\u2019s an epidemic.\u00a0 But here\u2019s the rub \u2013<\/p>\n

Millennials (primarily, male millennials) are defending their purchase of these record players by claiming they produce better sound.\u00a0 Female millennials are quick to admit they are buying them because they\u2019re cool, but male millennials can\u2019t bring themselves to admit this.\u00a0 So they\u2019ve invented this excuse.\u00a0 Of course, there is only one reason they could think people will believe this \u2013 They\u2019ve wound their man-buns too tight.<\/p>\n

My millennial friends and relatives:\u00a0 Please take it from the hundreds of millions of us around the globe that have lived in both the vinyl and digital music world.\u00a0 Your claim that vinyl records produce better sound is FAKE NEWS!<\/p>\n

Listen up \u2013<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Dust.<\/strong> That cardboard sleeve records are sold in is called a \u201cdust jacket.\u201d Any speck of dust on the record causes an irritating little \u201cpop\u201d when the needle hits it. Dust jackets help keep the dust off, but unless you\u2019re planning on playing your records inside the \u201cclean room\u201d at MIT\u2019s Nanotechnology Department, it\u2019s always an issue.<\/li>\n
  2. Scratching.<\/strong> Vinyl records scratch easily. True, this is only a problem if you want to actually play your record. And even then, it\u2019s only a problem during each rotation.\u00a0 Let\u2019s put it this way \u2013 The sound of the needle hitting a scratch makes you long for the comparatively melodic \u201cpop\u201d of the needle hitting a speck of dust.<\/li>\n
  3. Warping.<\/strong> Vinyl records warp. If a vinyl record even thinks you are going to take it outside, or heaven help you, you leave it in your car for thirty seconds when the temperature is above freezing, it\u2019s going heat up and warp.\u00a0 See how much better it sounds than digital after that.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And the Granddaddy reason of them all<\/strong> that confirms, beyond even the wildest millennial speculation, that digital music sounds better than vinyl\u2026<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Digital music has practically wiped out musicians\u2019 profits.<\/strong> They have to go on the road and sell concert tickets to make any real money. That wasn\u2019t the case when they sold vinyl.\u00a0 If musicians thought for a moment that they could convince their fans that records sounded better, they would be promoting that fact 24\/7.\u00a0 They\u2019d never shut up about it.\u00a0 You would see an endless stream of commercials on television and radio promoting vinyl records.\u00a0 There is nothing<\/em> easier to bootleg than digital music.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      But, my millennial friends, setting these minor issues aside, yeah.\u00a0 You\u2019re probably right \u2013 I\u2019m sure vinyl sounds better.<\/p>\n

      ___<\/p>\n

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      ______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

      Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

      Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

      The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

      https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

      Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

      https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

      Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

      https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      There is a recent trend among millennials.\u00a0 They have taken a break from coifing their man-buns and drinking \u201clocally roasted\u201d \u201csmall batch\u201d coffee, to start a new irritating trend.\u00a0 They\u2019re buying record players.\u00a0 I first noticed this when my millennial daughter bought one.\u00a0 Then my millennial nephew.\u00a0 It\u2019s an epidemic.\u00a0 But here\u2019s the rub \u2013 […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[759,756,758,755,757,753,754,760,761,763,762],"class_list":["post-1536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-fake-news","tag-man-bun","tag-man-buns","tag-manbun","tag-manbuns","tag-millennial","tag-millennials","tag-record-player","tag-vinyl","tag-vinyl-record","tag-vinyl-records"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1536"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1541,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536\/revisions\/1541"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}