{"id":1381,"date":"2018-08-11T12:40:46","date_gmt":"2018-08-11T19:40:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1381"},"modified":"2018-08-15T10:21:18","modified_gmt":"2018-08-15T17:21:18","slug":"unless-youre-describing-full-bodied-coffee-please-please-stop-using-word-robust","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1381","title":{"rendered":"Unless You’re Describing a Full-Bodied Coffee, Please, Please Stop Using the Word Robust"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Attention \u201cGeneral Public\u201d:\u00a0 I\u2019m not asking, I\u2019m begging.\u00a0 Unless you are describing a rich, full-bodied South American coffee, please, please, P-L-E-A-S-E, stop using the word robust<\/em><\/strong> every five seconds.\u00a0 Cease and desist, people.\u00a0 It\u2019s getting brutal.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s stop for a moment and do some research.\u00a0 The Oxford English Dictionary formally defines the word \u201cRobust\u201d as follows:<\/p>\n

\u201cADJECTIVE \u2013<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. A descriptive word used by blowhards on both ends of the political spectrum trying to sound smarter than they are. (i.e. \u201cThe new tax cuts are likely to make our country\u2019s economy, as well as the size of my posterior, considerably more robust.\u201d)<\/li>\n
  2. (Esp. British) A descriptive word used by blowhards in the middle of the political spectrum too. (i.e. \u201cHey, I might not be an extremist, but my posterior is also robust, just more moderately so.\u201d)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If you question my complaint about how insane the use of this word has become, consider playing\u2013<\/p>\n

    \u00a0\u201cThe Robust Drinking Game\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n

    Step 1.<\/strong> Turn on a talking head show (MSNBC, Fox News \u2013 it doesn\u2019t matter) (Just make sure it\u2019s one where the host sits there with a robust, self-satisfied look on his face).<\/p>\n

    Step 2.<\/strong> Take a shot of tequila every time someone who couldn\u2019t change his own tire if you offered him a million bucks uses the word \u201crobust.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Step 3.<\/strong> After the bottle is empty, every player must describe the taste of the tequila in a single sentence, but it must<\/em> include the word \u201crobust.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Stupid Real Life<\/em> Uses of the Word Robust \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \u201cWe have the most robust military in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

    \u201cThe symphony\u2019s performance schedule this season is particularly robust.\u201d<\/p>\n

    \u201cThe subject of this episode of My 600 Pound Life<\/em> is, to put it mildly, one very robust fellow.\u201d<\/p>\n

    If you happen to be the 1 in 100,000 people who haven\u2019t noticed the recent upsurge in the use of this word, keep your ears open this week.\u00a0 You\u2019ll begin to notice it popping up more frequently than groundhogs in a Nebraska corn field.<\/p>\n

    Next week\u2019s rant: The word \u201cprofound\u201d doesn\u2019t make you sound smart either.<\/p>\n

    Now that my rage over the abuse of the word robust has momentarily subsided, I\u2019m taking a coffee break.\u00a0 I am going to go enjoy a rich, full-bodied South American blend.\u00a0 It\u2019s a wonderful coffee, and I highly recommend it.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to describe it to you, but for the life of me, I can\u2019t think of the right word.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    WAIT! \u00a0You\u2019re not done yet.\u00a0 Earn good karma!\u00a0 Please comment and share on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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    It\u2019s a Three Minute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n

    ______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

    Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

    The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

    https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

    Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

    https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

    Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

    https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Attention \u201cGeneral Public\u201d:\u00a0 I\u2019m not asking, I\u2019m begging.\u00a0 Unless you are describing a rich, full-bodied South American coffee, please, please, P-L-E-A-S-E, stop using the word robust every five seconds.\u00a0 Cease and desist, people.\u00a0 It\u2019s getting brutal. Let\u2019s stop for a moment and do some research.\u00a0 The Oxford English Dictionary formally defines the word \u201cRobust\u201d as […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[720,721,722,723],"class_list":["post-1381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-robust","tag-robust-coffee","tag-robust-french-roast","tag-robust-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1381","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1381"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1381\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1445,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1381\/revisions\/1445"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}