{"id":1372,"date":"2018-07-13T14:24:43","date_gmt":"2018-07-13T21:24:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1372"},"modified":"2018-07-13T14:24:43","modified_gmt":"2018-07-13T21:24:43","slug":"high-time-ban-old-people-silver-falls-state-park","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1372","title":{"rendered":"It’s High Time to Ban Old People from Silver Falls State Park"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

My family was busted for the crime of walking our dog.\u00a0 We were at Silver Falls State Park in Oregon.\u00a0 We hadn\u2019t got 50 feet down the trail before the ranger was on us like stink on a monkey.\u00a0 We vehemently claimed our innocence; however, the ranger grilled us about a sign we had walked past and a notice in the park flyer, which I unfortunately, at the very time of her accusation, was holding open in my hand.\u00a0 If the ranger made her case to a jury, they\u2019d convict us in 30 seconds.<\/p>\n

Oregon is a very progressive state, and it has very progressive policies.\u00a0 Except for this policy of BLATANT discrimination against friendly, law-abiding members of the Canine-American community.\u00a0 The main attraction of Silver Falls State Park is a trail that loops past ten waterfalls.\u00a0 A number of which you can actually walk behind.\u00a0 Here is South Falls \u2013<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>They\u2019re amazing.\u00a0 However, the rangers claim that old people and young children might trip over dogs along the \u201cnarrow trail.\u201d\u00a0 So they outlaw dogs.\u00a0 The ranger defended the rule by telling us a kid had to be airlifted out the week before because he tripped over a dog.<\/p>\n

Well, the solution to this problem is quite obvious \u2013 Ban old people and young kids.\u00a0 Not all\u00a0<\/em><\/strong> the time\u00a0 – I don’t want to be unreasonable.\u00a0 Just ban them on\u00a0 weekends.\u00a0 Old people and young children can visit during the week when the crowds are smaller and thus they would be less likely to fall victim to this \u201cdog tripping\u201d epidemic.\u00a0 I\u2019m actually thinking of their<\/em><\/strong> welfare, not my own narcissistic desire to take my dog on the trail.\u00a0 (He\u2019s actually my daughter and her husband\u2019s dog, so, technically, he\u2019s my \u201cgrand-dog\u201d.)<\/p>\n

After the ranger let us off with a warning, she told us dogs were allowed on the boring Rim Trail (She didn\u2019t actually call it \u201cboring.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m just describing it to you).\u00a0 The Rim Trail runs for miles through the boring forest until you reach the North Falls (yeah, one measly waterfall \u2013 and not even one you can walk behind). \u00a0Because we had already driven 90 minutes to get there, and the ranger was standing there keeping us from going down the fun trail (obviously because she thought we would have to audacity to continue down that trail if she left \u2013 which I can assure you we absolutely would <\/em><\/strong>have), we marched off down the Rim Trail.<\/p>\n

As we walked down the Rim Trail to visit the boring North Waterfall, where you can\u2019t even walk behind it, I thought, \u201cWhat were the odds that we would be so unlucky to come across that ranger?\u2019\u00a0 It turned out that the odds were 100%.\u00a0 That was the ranger\u2019s hideout.\u00a0 The ranger laid in wait and sprung out like a jack-in-the-box, whenever when a dog passed.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve seen one of those nature documentaries showing one of those predatory sea creatures that camouflage themselves and spring off the sea floor to devour innocent, unsuspecting fish, that was this ranger.<\/p>\n

I urge everyone to begin using the hashtag #BanCanineAmercianDiscrimination.\u00a0 This injustice must not stand.\u00a0 History must not repeat itself.\u00a0 Remember, \u201cFirst, they came for the \u2026.<\/p>\n

__________<\/p>\n

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______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My family was busted for the crime of walking our dog.\u00a0 We were at Silver Falls State Park in Oregon.\u00a0 We hadn\u2019t got 50 feet down the trail before the ranger was on us like stink on a monkey.\u00a0 We vehemently claimed our innocence; however, the ranger grilled us about a sign we had walked […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[716,715,714,713,718,719,717],"class_list":["post-1372","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-ban-old-people","tag-dog-discrimination","tag-dogs-prohibited","tag-oregon-parks","tag-silver-falls","tag-silver-falls-park","tag-silver-falls-state-park"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1372","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1372"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1372\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2153,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1372\/revisions\/2153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1372"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1372"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}