{"id":1325,"date":"2018-06-06T12:26:35","date_gmt":"2018-06-06T19:26:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1325"},"modified":"2020-12-24T17:07:30","modified_gmt":"2020-12-25T01:07:30","slug":"wonderful-life-apologies-frank-capra","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1325","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s A Wonderful Life &#8211; With Apologies to Frank Capra"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1829\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg?resize=640%2C334\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"334\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg?w=4032&amp;ssl=1 4032w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg?resize=300%2C157&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg?resize=768%2C401&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg?resize=1024%2C535&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg?w=1280 1280w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg?w=1920 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>We cringe whenever someone says, \u201cLet me tell you about the dream I had last night.\u201d\u00a0 Yikes!\u00a0 Other than invasive dental procedures, is there anything worse?\u00a0 That said, let me tell you about a dream I had last night.<\/p>\n<p>First, the backstory.<\/p>\n<p>There are two traditional rules about attending church.\u00a0 Number 1: Be on time, and Number 2: Wear your \u201cSunday best.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here is my problem.\u00a0 I am never on time, and I wear clothes that will never be described as anyone\u2019s \u201cbest,\u201d Sunday or otherwise \u2013 a Hawaiian shirt and Birkenstocks.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I know you&#8217;re eager to hear about my dream, so hear it is \u2013<\/p>\n<p>I die and go to heaven.\u00a0 I am standing at the Pearly Gates as nervous as a turkey in mid-November and seriously reconsidering the casual attitude I had toward church attendance.\u00a0 I had planned to clean up my act before I died, but a mishap involving a gas powered hedge trimmer and an unstable ladder sent me to my reward with a 1.5 second notice.<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly, Bob, an usher from my church appeared.\u00a0 \u201cBob, what are you doing here?\u201d I asked.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re still alive.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTrue, but I was told you were upset, so God asked me stop by and take you on a little journey.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly, fog rolled in around and engulfed us.\u00a0 Moments later it dissipated, and we were standing in the back of my church sanctuary as my minister, who, for the purposes of this story I will refer to as \u201cPastor Steve,\u201d because his name is Steve Hill, is giving a sermon.\u00a0 A friend walks by us, and I say, \u201cHi,\u201d but he doesn\u2019t respond.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe can\u2019t hear you,\u201d Bob says.\u00a0 You\u2019re invisible.\u00a0 Just then, one of the back doors opens, and I watch myself saunter into the sanctuary a full 15 minutes late.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOuch,\u201d I say under my breath.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHold on, Jack,\u201d says Bob. \u201cSee that couple over there?\u00a0 The woman in the blue dress and the man in the tweed jacket?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah,\u201d I say, \u201cbut\u2026.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJust keep watching,\u201d says Bob.<\/p>\n<p>I watch myself move along the rear of the sanctuary looking for an open chair, and I see the woman nudge the man.\u00a0 They both look over and she smiles at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJack, you just made their day.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t know it, but they had arrived late and were feeling very self-conscious about it, until you walked in.\u00a0 Your thoughtless and irresponsible late arrival has made them feel much better.\u00a0 Sure <em>they<\/em> were late, but not <em>nearly<\/em> as late as you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJack, everyone has a purpose on Earth.\u00a0 And one of yours was to make late new comers to church feel less self-conscious.<\/p>\n<p>The fog rose and again soon dissipated.\u00a0 It was the same Sunday morning.\u00a0 We were up on stage next to Pastor Steve, and we could see me walking past the late couple who were now listening to the sermon with peaceful smiles.<\/p>\n<p>I was continuing down the aisle.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKeep your eye on that family,\u201d said Bob, \u201cthe one with the father wearing a faded denim work shirt and worn jeans.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The father was sitting on the aisle and clearly turned his attention to me as I walked by.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJack,\u201d Bob said, \u201cyou couldn\u2019t have known it, but that gentleman almost didn\u2019t come to church this morning because all he had to wear was one of his old work shirts and leather boots.\u00a0 He arrived feeling extremely self-conscious about his clothes.\u00a0 That is, until he saw you.\u00a0 Just look at you, Jack.\u00a0 You look like you\u2019re heading to a second-rate flea market \u2013 faded Hawaiian shirt and worn out Birkenstocks.\u00a0 An absolute disgrace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cUh\u2026\u201d I started to defend myself.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJack, you\u2019re perfect.\u00a0 Just what the doctor ordered!\u201d said Bob.\u00a0 \u201cA moment ago this man felt like the worst dressed person in church.\u00a0 But one glance at you and his spirit is lifted.\u00a0 He is rejuvenated.\u00a0 And it\u2019s all due to your utter disregard for the fundamental rules of polite society.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut I had no idea,\u201d I began to say as the fog rose and swirled around us.<\/p>\n<p>When the fog disappeared, I was back at the Pearly Gates.\u00a0 Bob was gone and I was in a line waiting to check in.\u00a0 I looked down at what I was wearing and cringed &#8211; a faded Hawaiian shirt and worn out Birkenstocks.\u00a0 Oh well, I thought, at least I&#8217;m on time!<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>WAIT! \u00a0You\u2019re not done yet.\u00a0 Please comment and share!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Click here on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jocularious.com\/\">Jocularious.com<\/a> to access Facebook, Twitter and other \u201cshare\u201d buttons. Earn good karma!<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Subscribe!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s free and easy, and each new Jocularious column will arrive in your inbox.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a <em>Three Minute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Check out these great books:<\/p>\n<p>The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness \u2013<br \/>\nhttps:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n<p>Seven Rules for the College Playground &#8211;<br \/>\nhttps:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n<p>Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer &#8211;<br \/>\nhttps:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We cringe whenever someone says, \u201cLet me tell you about the dream I had last night.\u201d\u00a0 Yikes!\u00a0 Other than invasive dental procedures, is there anything worse?\u00a0 That said, let me tell you about a dream I had last night. First, the backstory. There are two traditional rules about attending church.\u00a0 Number 1: Be on time, <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1325\">[&hellip;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1829,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[701,698,702,700,699],"class_list":["post-1325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-birkinstocks","tag-church-humor","tag-frank-capra","tag-hawaiian-shirts","tag-its-a-wonderful-life"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/X-mas-yard.jpeg?fit=4032%2C2107&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1325"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2565,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1325\/revisions\/2565"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1829"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}