{"id":1312,"date":"2018-06-02T21:01:15","date_gmt":"2018-06-03T04:01:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1312"},"modified":"2018-06-02T21:01:15","modified_gmt":"2018-06-03T04:01:15","slug":"mcdonalds-located-fantasy-land","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1312","title":{"rendered":"This McDonald’s is Located in Fantasy Land"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This is NOT a \u201chit job\u201d on McDonald’s.\u00a0 Okay, it is a hit job on McDonald\u2019s.\u00a0 However, in my defense, McDonald\u2019s drew first blood.<\/p>\n

To fully understand this column, you must have seen that commercial where the young McDonald\u2019s employee shows up at McDonald\u2019s and tells his manger that he has received his college acceptance letter.\u00a0 Until this point, everything is normal.\u00a0 It\u2019s a McDonald\u2019s.\u00a0 All hell is breaking loose.\u00a0 People are at the counter, a vehicle is waiting at the drive thru window.\u00a0 An employee with a headset is manning the drive thru window.\u00a0 Cooks are flipping burger patties.\u00a0 It\u2019s a busy McDonald\u2019s operating at a minimum of DEFCON 3.<\/p>\n

This is when the commercial enters a bizarre time-space bending wormhole.\u00a0 The manager snatches the letter from the employee and yells, \u201cEverybody!\u00a0 Two seconds!\u201d\u00a0 The employees immediately snap from their workstations and form a circle.\u00a0 The manager then reads the letter, and they enthusiastically applaud.\u00a0 Here is a still from the commercial showing their unbridled jubilation-<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When I walk down the street, people probably eye my \u201crobust\u201d physique and think to themselves, \u2018I bet that guy know his way around a McDonald\u2019s menu.\u2019\u00a0 Those people would be correct. But I doubt that I am the only soul, among my loyal readers, who enjoys \u201cdining\u201d at McDonald\u2019s.\u00a0 I\u2019m not saying I\u2019m an expert<\/em>, but I\u2019ve got a lot of McDonald\u2019s experience under my belt (sadly).<\/p>\n

Can you, even for a moment, even for a micro-nanosecond, imagine a McDonald\u2019s manager calling his employees off their stations, as they busily keep the bags of McNuggets streaming over the counter and through the drive thru window, having them form a circle<\/em>, and then reading a letter to the assembled crowd?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s picture how this scenario would play out in the real world.\u00a0 The line at the counter stacks up as those toward the front wonder where everyone disappeared.\u00a0 The drive thru line comes to a sudden halt, and cars start piling up filling the drive thru lane.\u00a0 The guy in his car by the ordering speaker starts yelling for someone\u2019s attention.\u00a0 The cars begin backing up into the parking lot blocking traffic.\u00a0 The burgers which are STILL COOKING ON THE GRILL begin overcooking and smoke starts filling the kitchen.<\/p>\n

It would be PURE, UNADULTERATED, CHAOS.<\/p>\n

And that, my friends, is why you will only find this <\/em>McDonald\u2019s in Fantasy Land.<\/p>\n

_____________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

WAIT! \u00a0You\u2019re not done yet!\u00a0 Please comment and share.\u00a0 Example of a recent\u00a0 encouraging comment: \u201cThis blog would be great if it were funny.\u00a0 Try to make it funny next time.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

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It\u2019s a Three Minute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Check out these great books:<\/p>\n

The Lawyer\u2019s Song: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> at \u2013<\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/p>\n

Seven Rules for the College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/p>\n

Seven Secrets You Need to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is NOT a \u201chit job\u201d on McDonald’s.\u00a0 Okay, it is a hit job on McDonald\u2019s.\u00a0 However, in my defense, McDonald\u2019s drew first blood. To fully understand this column, you must have seen that commercial where the young McDonald\u2019s employee shows up at McDonald\u2019s and tells his manger that he has received his college acceptance […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[697,696,598],"class_list":["post-1312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-mcdonalds-commercial","tag-mcdonalds-humor","tag-mcdonalds"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1312"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1323,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312\/revisions\/1323"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}