{"id":1228,"date":"2018-04-21T15:10:15","date_gmt":"2018-04-21T22:10:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1228"},"modified":"2018-04-21T15:10:15","modified_gmt":"2018-04-21T22:10:15","slug":"just-much-pee-can-one-dog-hold","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1228","title":{"rendered":"Just How Much Pee Can One Dog Hold?"},"content":{"rendered":"

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I\u2019m not claiming to be an expert, but I\u2019m pretty sure that my daughter\u2019s dog just set a world\u2019s record in the pee department.\u00a0 I\u2019m contacting the Guinness Book of World Records<\/u> to verify it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if Guinness has a category dedicated to dog urination, but if they don\u2019t, they need to set one up – PRONTO!<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been dog sitting my \u201cgrand-dog\u201d Milo, so I decided to take him on a hike to the top of Spencer Butte.\u00a0 When I get Milo out of the car at the trail head, two things happened.\u00a0 First, Milo makes a b-line for the nearest tree.\u00a0 And second, I notice a new warning sign \u2013<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>My daughter hasn\u2019t had Milo very long, but breaking the news that he died saying \u201chowdy\u201d to a rattlesnake wouldn\u2019t have gone over too smoothly.\u00a0 My concern about rattlesnake danger, however, quickly disappeared.\u00a0 Here\u2019s why.<\/p>\n

Three feet up the trail, Milo began peeing on trees.\u00a0 Yeah, I know, he\u2019s a dog.\u00a0 They pee on trees. \u00a0But that\u2019s not what I mean.\u00a0 Milo was peeing on every tree.\u00a0 EVERY.\u00a0 SINGLE.\u00a0 ONE.\u00a0 This is western Oregon, friends.\u00a0 We have trees.\u00a0 If I had one of those little clickers that the lady at the Costco entrance uses to count shoppers, I would have counted.\u00a0 My conservative estimate?\u00a0 One thousand.\u00a0 There have got to be one thousand trees between the trail head and the summit.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what it looks like \u2013<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s mostly Douglas Firs.\u00a0 Milo hit every one like a World War II combat veteran taking the hill at Iwo Jima.\u00a0 (In fact, if Milo were there, I am certain we would have taken the island much faster.\u00a0 I doubt the Japanese soldiers could have sustained Milo’s unrelenting pee attack.)\u00a0 But I digress\u2026<\/p>\n

It\u2019s possible Milo missed a sapling or two, but let\u2019s call it a 97% \u201cP-rate.\u201d\u00a0 I grew up with dogs.\u00a0 I know dogs.\u00a0 They pee \u2013 A LOT.\u00a0 But Milo is the Lebron James of canine urinaters.<\/p>\n

I know he doesn\u2019t look capable of holding the record.\u00a0 He\u2019s not a lab, or some other aircraft carrier sized dog with a bladder the size of a municipal water tank.\u00a0 So I\u2019m expected the team that comes out from Guinness to verify my claim to be suspicious.\u00a0 Not to worry.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell them to meet me at the trail head of Spencer Butte.<\/p>\n

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I\u2019m not claiming to be an expert, but I\u2019m pretty sure that my daughter\u2019s dog just set a world\u2019s record in the pee department.\u00a0 I\u2019m contacting the Guinness Book of World Records to verify it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if Guinness has a category dedicated to dog urination, but if they don\u2019t, they need to set […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[656,675,673,676,674],"class_list":["post-1228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-dog","tag-guiness-book-of-worlds-records","tag-pee","tag-spencer-butte","tag-world-record"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1228"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1228\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1238,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1228\/revisions\/1238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}