{"id":1109,"date":"2018-03-10T09:14:33","date_gmt":"2018-03-10T17:14:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1109"},"modified":"2018-03-10T09:14:33","modified_gmt":"2018-03-10T17:14:33","slug":"pop-potty-shark-tank-idea-dont-steal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1109","title":{"rendered":"My Pop-Up Potty Shark Tank Idea – Don’t Steal It!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

There are three levels of personal discomfort of the bathroom variety.\u00a0 The New England Journal of Medicine has given each a technical name, or \u201calert level.\u201d\u00a0 They are: Yellow Alert, Red Alert and Neon Flashing Orange Alert with Blaring Sirens.\u00a0 Here are their formal definitions –<\/p>\n

Yellow Alert<\/strong><\/span>:\u00a0 A mild but noticeable sensation of pressure on the bladder or \u201clower GI.\u201d\u00a0 It is advisable to visit the lavatory to (I\u2019ll use the technical, scientific terms) take a \u201cleak,\u201d or drop a \u201cload.\u201d<\/p>\n

Red Alert<\/strong><\/span>: The enemy is fast approaching.\u00a0 If you\u2019re at a cocktail party, it\u2019s time to wrap up the conversation, identify a target restroom and make haste.<\/p>\n

Neon Flashing Orange Alert with Blaring Sirens<\/strong><\/span>:\u00a0 The enemy is at the gate.\u00a0 In thermonuclear terms, the threat level has reached DEFCON 1.\u00a0 Something REALLY, REALLY BAD is about to happen.\u00a0 Something of extreme danger, embarrassment, and above all, odor.<\/p>\n

My new million dollar Shark Tank idea will eliminate this danger.\u00a0 My product looks like a piece of flat plastic about 18 inches square.\u00a0 It works by grabbing a tab on the top and giving it a quick shake.\u00a0 It flips open into the shape of a small tent-like structure with a sling-like pocket suspended on the inside for single use restroom needs.\u00a0 Privacy and relief with the snap of the wrist.\u00a0 After taking a \u201crelief,\u201d simply fold it up, slide it back into its pouch, and drop it in the nearest waste receptacle (or on some deserving person\u2019s door step).\u00a0 It\u2019s that easy.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you\u2019re enjoying a family trip heading east on I-84 with no rest area in sight and Johnny\u2019s about to BLOW?\u00a0 Pop-up Potty to the rescue!<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you\u2019re hiking along a popular trail and the pasta primavera you had for lunch sets a land speed record to your colon? \u00a0YOU are about to BLOW! \u00a0Pop-up Potty!<\/p>\n

You\u2019re at a fundraiser at the La Vista Hotel and Conference Center in Omaha, Nebraska, and ALL the restrooms are out of order?\u00a0 Simply snap open your Warren Buffett special edition, Pop-up Potty!\u00a0 Relief in seconds!<\/p>\n

I strongly suggest you get in early on my Pop-up Potty Kickstarter campaign and watch for it on Shark Tank.\u00a0 Mark, Barbara and Robert will love it.\u00a0 And while I\u2019m sure that \u201cMr. Wonderful,\u201d Kevin O\u2019Leary will ______ all over it, isn\u2019t that the point?<\/p>\n

Next idea?\u00a0 The Pocket Pooper!\u00a0 It looks like a ziplock bag.\u00a0 All the convenience and relief of the Pop-up Potty, minus any privacy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are three levels of personal discomfort of the bathroom variety.\u00a0 The New England Journal of Medicine has given each a technical name, or \u201calert level.\u201d\u00a0 They are: Yellow Alert, Red Alert and Neon Flashing Orange Alert with Blaring Sirens.\u00a0 Here are their formal definitions – Yellow Alert:\u00a0 A mild but noticeable sensation of pressure […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[653,655,159,654],"class_list":["post-1109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-potty","tag-red-alert","tag-shark-tank","tag-yellow-alert"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1109"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1109\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1115,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1109\/revisions\/1115"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1109"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}