{"id":1081,"date":"2018-03-03T10:50:58","date_gmt":"2018-03-03T18:50:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1081"},"modified":"2020-03-31T13:38:58","modified_gmt":"2020-03-31T20:38:58","slug":"cards-against-my-humanity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1081","title":{"rendered":"Cards Against My Humanity"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Peer pressure is the greatest challenge facing middle school children.\u00a0 These kids know right from wrong.\u00a0 They know when an idea is bad.\u00a0 But the pressure is often too much to bear, so at the tender age of 12, they cave into it.\u00a0 The need to belong overcomes their common sense.\u00a0 So imagine how I felt caving into peer pressure at the tender age of 57. \u00a0In fact, not just caving in, but folding like a cheap card table.\u00a0 Who were these culprits taking advantage of my youth and naivete?\u00a0 They were a group of \u201cwell-oiled\u201d friends.\u00a0 (Clue: oil is code for the nectar squeezed from the precious agave plant.)<\/p>\n

This tragedy began suddenly, and without warning.\u00a0 Someone casually suggested, \u201cLet\u2019s play Cards Against Humanity.\u201d\u00a0 I had never heard of the game.\u00a0 I opened the box and looked at an \u201canswer\u201d card.\u00a0 The answer included a crude and overtly graphic description of a popular female body part.\u00a0 I immediately knew this was wrong, very wrong, and voiced my opposition.\u00a0 The crowd turned on me.\u00a0 The word “prude” was mentioned.<\/p>\n

Cards Against Humanity involves a player selecting a \u201cquestion\u201d card.\u00a0 The player reads the question aloud, and then each of the other players chooses one of their answer cards to match it.\u00a0 A player scores a point if the player who read the question picks their answer as the best.\u00a0 To avoid being sued by the multinational corporation that owns this wholesome, family friendly game, I will make up a sample question: \u201cBill Clinton would like nothing better than to dive into to a vat of ___________.\u201d\u00a0 Answer cards might be as benign as \u201cbar room peanuts,\u201d to other answers involving excrement or sexual parts (Example: “A bag of [famous male body parts]”).\u00a0 Note to legislators: Please pass a law outlawing this game for anyone under the age of 45.\u00a0 This age limit is premised on the assumption that anyone older, at least those with a shred of dignity (a group which I have sadly demonstrated does not include me), would cringe at the notion of playing it.<\/p>\n

Let me summarize the experience this way: Run!\u00a0 If you see this game in a store, or someone even mentions it, get the \u201cH \u2013 E – double toothpicks\u201d out of there.\u00a0 There is even a warning on the box-<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a game for horrible people!\u00a0 It says so RIGHT ON THE BOX!<\/p>\n

As someone always trying to keep an open mind, I must point out a possible exception: If you are a college fraternity freshman who has recently shot-gunned a six pack followed immediately by a \u201cmajor\u201d bong hit, this might be the game for you.\u00a0 But even so, please refrain from putting peer pressure on any nearby 57-year-olds.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Peer pressure is the greatest challenge facing middle school children.\u00a0 These kids know right from wrong.\u00a0 They know when an idea is bad.\u00a0 But the pressure is often too much to bear, so at the tender age of 12, they cave into it.\u00a0 The need to belong overcomes their common sense.\u00a0 So imagine how I […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[647,648],"class_list":["post-1081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-cards-against-humanity","tag-peer-pressure"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1081"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1081\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2155,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1081\/revisions\/2155"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}