{"id":1023,"date":"2017-06-03T14:22:07","date_gmt":"2017-06-03T21:22:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1023"},"modified":"2017-06-03T14:35:31","modified_gmt":"2017-06-03T21:35:31","slug":"oregon-wildlife-officials-like-drug-dealers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1023","title":{"rendered":"How Oregon Wildlife Officials are like Drug Dealers"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>By Jack Edwards<\/strong><\/p>\n

We\u2019ll get to the disturbing similarities between wildlife officials and drug dealers in a moment, but first, the background:<\/p>\n

Every year, the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife holds a \u201cFree Fishing Weekend.\u201d\u00a0 This is the one weekend of the year that people can fish without a license.\u00a0 Now, let it be known that when veteran Oregon anglers hear the words, \u201cFree Fishing Weekend,\u201d they all think the same thing, \u201cRUN FOR YOUR LIVES!\u201d\u00a0 The notion of free fishing has kids and their cheapskate parents swarming over Oregon waterways like cats in a sardine factory.\u00a0 It\u2019s not pretty.\u00a0 On the other hand, we must afford the unwashed masses some sympathy, because this \u201cfree\u201d excitement is all part of an Oregon Fish and Wildlife officials\u2019 Ponzi scheme.\u00a0 For those of you who, like me, survived the Alsea public school system, let me explain:<\/p>\n

As you know, the best method for a drug dealer to build a lucrative customer base is to let folks try the product for free.\u00a0 \u201cThe first one\u2019s always free.\u201d\u00a0 Well, Oregon wildlife officials have taken a play from the drug dealers\u2019 playbook.\u00a0 This \u201cfree\u201d weekend is nothing less than an attempt to lure (no pun intended) young fisher-people to the water so they will develop an irresistible urge to fish, to develop a \u201chabit.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s truly diabolical.\u00a0 Why would these officials stoop so low?\u00a0 Because an Oregon fishing license now costs as much as a brand new Bentley.\u00a0 Okay, not quite that much, but it\u2019s a noticeable investment.\u00a0 An adult annual fishing license in Oregon is now $38.00.\u00a0 Gulp!\u00a0 But wait, here\u2019s an option – If you only want to fish one day, you can get a one day permit for the bargain price of $19.00.\u00a0 Nineteen Dollars!\u00a0 Now, I know what you\u2019re thinking.\u00a0 You\u2019re thinking that for this price it must include a professional fish guide, transportation and meals.\u00a0 You would be wrong.\u00a0 It only includes the professional guide.<\/p>\n

So getting back to drug dealers\u2026 I mean, Oregon wildlife officials, yeah, the first one\u2019s free because they\u2019re trying to hook you (this pun WAS intended).\u00a0 And let me warn you, that the picture you have now painted in your mind of Oregon Fish and Wildlife officials sitting back in their offices laughing and spooning copious mounds of caviar onto imported crackers is all wrong.\u00a0 They use local crackers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Jack Edwards We\u2019ll get to the disturbing similarities between wildlife officials and drug dealers in a moment, but first, the background: Every year, the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife holds a \u201cFree Fishing Weekend.\u201d\u00a0 This is the one weekend of the year that people can fish without a license.\u00a0 Now, let it be […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1024,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[618,615,532,616,617],"class_list":["post-1023","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-fishing-humor","tag-free-fishing-weekend","tag-humor","tag-oregon-department-of-fish-and-wildlife","tag-oregon-fishing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/River.jpg?fit=2100%2C954&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1023","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1023"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1023\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1027,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1023\/revisions\/1027"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1024"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1023"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1023"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1023"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}