Tag: Oregon

The Great Toilet Paper Heist

We renovated an entire cottage, installed new floors, upgraded appliances… but the real threat to our success?

Toilet paper bandits.

Hay Fever – A Love Story

Another Oregon Willamette Valley hay fever season has passed.  And I have finally emerged from my HEPA air-filtered bunker in a low crouch and squinted up into the sunlight.  Over the past three months, as I sat in air-conditioned darkness, I had several thoughts I’d like to share.  Here are the facts.  Ninety-nine percent of […]

“High” From Oregon , Oops, I Meant “Hi”

Whiplash is a “soft tissue injury” caused when your spine is suddenly, and without warning, slammed into the shape of a Wetzel’s Pretzel.  Usually when a car behind you decides to mate with your car.  Symptoms include throbbing pain, dizziness, and a sudden urge to call 1-800 Ambulance Chasing Lawyer.com.  I recently suffered a whiplash, […]

Ken Kesey Owes Me $5.20

Yesterday, I accidentally ate a hamburger the size of a Greyhound Bus.  Only it didn’t go down so smooth.  This was all Ken Kesey’s fault.  Yeah, I know he’s dead, but that doesn’t make it right. I live in Eugene, Oregon, where author and Grateful Dead groupie Ken Kesey is revered.  He’s like a white […]

Plight of the Oregon Platypus

By Jack Edwards Last night the University of Oregon Ducks played the Oregon State University Beavers in a “Civil War” basketball game.  All of these civil war games are deeply meaningful to Oregonians.  This is because fans associated with each school feel strongly, to their very core, to the center of the marrow of their […]

A Summer Camp with all the Safety Features of a Syrian Mine Field

By Jack Edwards My kids occasionally ask me questions which cause me to reference my free-range childhood in the rural town of Alsea, Oregon.  This question for example, “Dad, when you were a kid, did you go to summer camp?” Me: “Yeah, it was called ‘Shovel the Manure Out of the Barn Camp.’” My summers […]

Rose Bowl Bound

By Jack Edwards I dream that one day technology will advance to the point where I will not be forced to travel long distances, expend thousands of dollars and trudge through throngs of intoxicated sports enthusiasts to enjoy watching a college bowl game. Call me a crazy optimist, but I believe that, one day, perhaps […]

Crater Lake Crayfish Crisis

By Jack Edwards Loyal readers know that I nearly lost my life at Crater Lake National Park last summer hanging on by my butt cheeks as I traversed Rim Drive to brave my way to the Rim Village Gift Shop (AKA Future Garage Sale Item Warehouse). I have not been eager to return, but my […]

My Near Death Crater Lake Experience

By Jack Edwards My family recently hosted a visit from one of my daughter’s college friends. I’ll refer to her as “Whitney” because her name happens to be Whitney. My daughter wanted to take her friend to visit Crater Lake National Park, but this posed a problem – Crater Lake is about three hours from […]