iPhone 6 plus: The phone that ate New York

By Jack Edwards If you’re looking for a cell phone with all the convenience of carrying a boat anchor in your pocket, I recommend the iPhone 6 plus. Let me recount my cellular journey from the practical to the preposterous. It was 2007. Phones were getting small, really small. In fact, they were getting so […]

The Great Chicago Toilet Massacre

By Jack Edwards I don’t know why we humans are so fascinated with toilets. But we are. It’s in our DNA. From the first time a Neanderthal dug a small hole in the ground and presented it with beaming pride to his Neanderthal wife, we have found few items of greater interest. This is especially […]

The Great Oklahoma Pandemic

By Jack Edwards Think of your three favorite states. Ask others to list their three favorite states. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, they will not list three states. They will list the same state, three times in a row. And that state, of course, will be Oklahoma. The Oklahoma state motto says it all: […]

The Most Powerful Woman in the World

By Jack Edwards Millions of people turn to her for help. They hang on her every word. They blindly follow her advice. If she said eating chocolate covered bumblebees was good for your health, her fans would start slamming them down like Skittles. Chocolate covered bumblebee factories would pop up across the nation overnight. Her name, of […]

American Football Renamed “Handball”

I am as stubborn as the next guy.  Do I ever stop and ask for directions?  No.  Even when I’m hopelessly lost?  No.  Even running late to an important event?  No.  A wedding?  No.  A funeral?  Sorry, not going to happen.  Back when the United States was trying desperately to convert to the metric system, […]

Stinky Football Fan Creates Chaos

Dear Abby, I am at my whit’s end.  I requested a change in the location of my college football season tickets, and couldn’t be happier with the new view; however, my wife and I quickly realized why these seats became available.  The guy to our left smells like a dead possum.  The stink fumes rising […]