I recently had the opportunity to speak to one of my U.S. senators. This big shot friend of mine gave the senator a “donation.” Enough to fill a wheelbarrow, if the wheelbarrow was as big as your house. My friend is an oil guy. He wears a cowboy hat too big for his head (but […]
After careful consideration and deep soul searching, I have decided to quit my job and become a doctor. No, I didn’t say go to medical school, don’t be silly. I’m much too old for that. I’ve just decided to become a doctor, as in start telling people I’m a doctor and begin practicing medicine. I’m […]
If you don’t believe in time travel, and surprisingly, many people don’t, then you haven’t flown commercially in the last thirty years. The next time you’re standing at the ticket counter schlepping around for your picture ID and trying to convince the agent that your check-in luggage doesn’t contain a tomahawk missile, look carefully. That […]
I dare to speak for most sensitive Americans when I say that I care deeply about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. But to be completely honest with you, I and my compatriots have absolutely no idea what the fight is about. Sure, we know they each want the same piece of land, but that’s about it. And […]
This all started when a friend, who I will refer to as “Chris,” because his name is Chris Linn, told me that he had watched a movie called Forks Over Knives, and the movie convinced him to stop eating meat. So, of course, I couldn’t believe it, and I told him that I couldn’t believe […]
It doesn’t take long once your oldest kid enters those joyful teenage years to realize that, for all practical purposes, you have unwittingly engineered a panhandler into your home. Sure, the kid doesn’t carry a cardboard sign saying, “Anything Helps! God Bless.” (Frankly, most parents wish their kid would throw in a God Bless now […]
I’d like to take this opportunity to draw your attention to an emerging crisis. A crisis that looms even larger and more ominous than our country’s staggering deficit or our precarious interests in the Middle East, one stands firmly at the forefront: the puzzling disappearance of fry sauce. I realize I may have just lost […]
I’d like to draw your attention to an emerging crisis. A crisis that looms even larger and more ominous than our country’s staggering deficit or our precarious interests in the Middle East. I am, of course, speaking about the proliferation of therapy companion animals. In less time than it took us to move from cell phones the […]