I think I speak for everyone when I say that the winter Olympics have become rather humdrum. And I also think I speak for everyone when I say the remedy is to return to the fundamentals of good solid entertainment. And by fundamentals, of course, I mean violence. In fact, with the exception of women’s […]
Every major civilization and religion throughout history has frowned on lying. And I wholeheartedly agreed – generally speaking, that is. Nevertheless, I was taught that if you are going to do something, do it well. Take pride in it. Give it 100%. It is in this spirit, we begin Lesson 1. Whether you are 14 […]
By Jack Edwards I think I speak for everyone, when I say that there are few things in life I enjoy more than watching people suffer. This is why I am so excited that the Yukon Quest begins in just nine days. What is the Yukon Quest? Think NASCAR, except dog sleds for cars. Watching […]
Muscle memory is an amazing phenomenon. However, they say that by the time a man reaches middle age, while he still has the memory, he no longer has the muscle. This can lead to embarrassing situations, usually involving ladders. For example, finding himself dangling from the edge of a gutter screaming like a girl. Of […]
My bucket list is fairly short. My number one item, of course, is the same as yours – to enter the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest in New York. In fact, not only to enter it, but win it. The record is 68 hot dogs in ten minutes. Child’s play. The number two item […]
My New Year’s resolution is to be more tolerant. I am going to celebrate diversity, even if it makes me vomit. Case in point, my sister. I was recently helping her move some stuff out of her car when I came across a bottle filled with yellow liquid. My first reaction: My sister has turned […]
It’s next year’s smash “Must Have” Christmas gift. Eager consumers will be lining up like penguins in the freezing cold outside Macy’s at 3:00 a.m. on Black Friday clutching their Visas. Shark Tank producers will be begging me to appear on their show. And yes, Mr. Wonderful, I’ve got a patent pending (well, patent pending, […]
It’s supposed to promote tourism. Oregon has over a dozen of them. Specialty license plates that drivers can order in lieu of Oregon’s generic fir tree plate. Among them are the Salmon plate, the Cultural Trust plate, the Amateur Ham Radio plate, and the Wine Country plate. The picture on the Wine Country plate is […]
According to the most recent census, there is one lawyer for every man, woman, child and four-legged creature living in the continental United States. (Alaska, of course, is the wild frontier; yes, there are lawyers in Alaska, but they limit their professional activities to officiating at duels. And Hawaii is the Land of Aloha, and […]
Jim Gaffigan is the storm trooper of stand-up comedy. Search his name on YouTube or Netflix if his name is a mystery to you. Fair warning, be prepared to spend quality time listening to him expound on the multitude of challenges encountered by the Average Joe, that is if the Average Joe was named Jim […]