By Jack Edwards It’s time for another edition of the always popular, News from the Neighborhood. This is where we wander out into the wild and untamed lands of upper-middleclass Suburbia to explore strange and exotic cultures and experience foreign “points of view,” such as the Fishman family, featured in our last edition that begins […]
By Jack Edwards A realization recently struck me harder than a five pound ham to the side of the head. A real whopper. Now, I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so you may have heretofore already been aware of this problem. An epidemic has spread across our country faster than California Chrome lost […]
By Jack Edwards My wife announced recently that our bed was hurting her back. She told me that she had visited a Sleep Number store, and that we should consider getting one. So I reluctantly accompanied her to check it out. Of course, it isn’t just a store, it’s a sleep laboratory that sells state […]
By Jack Edwards Willpower and “grit” are the keys to success. Sadly, I am in embarrassingly short supply of either. But it’s not entirely my fault. My wife goes nuts when she catches me bringing any grit into the house. As for willpower, let’s just say that today was to be the first day of […]
By Jack Edwards Why is it that the same parents who won’t shut up about the critical importance of putting their kids in a booster seat until they are at least seven feet tall or weigh 235 pounds all have trampolines in their backyards? My youngest daughter started whining about getting a trampoline last summer. […]
By Jack Edwards Last summer, my family took a road trip similar to the one the Griswold’s took on National Lampoon’s Vacation. The only major difference was that despite our best efforts, we never managed to actually hoist a dead relative onto the roof of our car. When my older daughter realized that we were […]
Achieving the pinnacle of success in any endeavor demands dedication and sacrifice. You have to keep your “eye on the ball,” or in my case, “eye on the squash.” And if I ever manage to actually grow a squash, even one the size of a golf ball, I’m definitely keeping my eye on it. Needless […]
By Jack Edwards It strikes without warning. One moment a young man is, for example, standing on the precipice of the Grand Canyon. He gazes out over the awe-inspiring vista. Eons of history lie before him – thought provoking proof that the gentle force of water in unison with time can carve an almost unimaginably beautiful […]
By Jack Edwards There’s small “c” crazy and then there’s American Psychiatric Association Crazy. In fact, the APA publishes a book called the DSM listing all the official types of crazy, and they assign each one a number. Everything’s listed: Sociopathic, Paranoia, Crazy as a Bedbug – you name it. They’re up to the DSM-V […]
By Jack Edwards Millions of people turn to her for help. They hang on her every word. They blindly follow her advice. If she said eating chocolate covered bumblebees was good for your health, her fans would start slamming them down like Skittles. Chocolate covered bumblebee factories would pop up across the nation overnight. Her name, of […]