By Jack Edwards A traditional Chinese curse has become popular in America. I discovered, however, as a result of my in-depth research on my iPhone (a full two seconds) that this “traditional Chinese curse” is about as Chinese as Irish Potato Stew. Nevertheless, it goes: “May you live in interesting times.” And we certainly do. […]
By Jack Edwards The first step in selling a home is for the owner to hand over the keys of his three bedroom, two bath ranch to a real estate agent who then floods the market with ads describing it as the Palace of Versailles. Real estate agents know that the average homebuyer is looking […]
Parenting is difficult. It requires numerous skills, not the least of which is gazing into the innocent little eyes of your child and telling a big, fat lie. Unfortunately, not everyone is born with this skill. When my wife and I were preparing for our first child, we bought a copy of Dr. Spock’s Baby […]
By Jack Edwards Our story begins eons ago, in prehistoric times. A dark and primitive period otherwise referred to in Archeology textbooks as 1975. During this epoch, mankind’s early ancestors with their broad, sloping foreheads and barrel shaped torsos began each day by mixing freeze-dried crystals into hot water, taking a sip, and then declaring […]
By Jack Edwards Think of your three favorite states. Ask others to list their three favorite states. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, they will not list three states. They will list the same state, three times in a row. And that state, of course, will be Oklahoma. The Oklahoma state motto says it all: […]
Those of you who have not served hard time in the squalor of a third world prison will have difficultly fully grasping this story. It involves a retched ten minute nightmare I had yesterday at the Mold City Motel in Denver (my apologies to all bacterial strains of the mold community). I would use the […]
By Jack Edwards Sadly, this buffet story is disturbingly true. Every lumpy refried bean of it. The plethora of emergencies that can arise at a buffet are endless. “Buffet” is a French word which means: “A meal eaten until the diner’s intestines explode.” The buffet emergency I recently encountered was etiquette related. It struck without […]
By Jack Edwards My family recently hosted a visit from one of my daughter’s college friends. I’ll refer to her as “Whitney” because her name happens to be Whitney. My daughter wanted to take her friend to visit Crater Lake National Park, but this posed a problem – Crater Lake is about three hours from […]
By Jack Edwards Last Friday marked the 238th anniversary of the founding of our great country. The 200th back in 1976 was a big one. The 250th should be a real barn-burner too. The 238th? It’s a number void of personality. It’s the numerical equivalent of vanilla ice cream. It’s the kind of strange anniversary […]
By Jack Edwards Garage sale season is upon us. Time to clean out those closets and let total strangers pick through your castoff housewares, kitchenwares and underwears. However, as a veteran operator of several of these hillbilly storefronts, allow me to share Five Secrets for Surviving a Garage Sale. The first, and by FAR the […]