{"id":2745,"date":"2021-08-22T13:25:40","date_gmt":"2021-08-22T20:25:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2745"},"modified":"2021-08-22T13:25:44","modified_gmt":"2021-08-22T20:25:44","slug":"news-reporters-hit-with-deep-sense-of-grief-as-hurricane-henri-fails-to-devastate-east-coast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=2745","title":{"rendered":"News Reporters Hit With Deep Sense of Grief as Hurricane Henri Fails to Devastate East Coast"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Fighting\nback tears, reporters from all major networks bravely maintained their\ncomposure as the reality hit them that Hurricane Henri would not decimate the\neast coast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt felt\nlike a kick to the stomach,\u201d one MSNBC reporter confessed.  \u201cOne minute we\u2019re on seventh heaven, thinking,\nWOW, this is it!  Our ratings are going\nto shoot through the roof.  The next\nminute, Henri is downgraded to a tropical storm.  A tropical storm!  Has a tropical storm EVER won anyone an Emmy?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Victor Ratnaster, Dean of Harvard\u2019s elite School of Psychiatry, said that ethical constraints prevented him from actually diagnosing any particular news reporter, but he agreed to comment \u201cgenerally speaking.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs you know,\u201d\nhe said thoughtfully, gazing up toward the ceiling of his oak paneled office while\nrubbing his goatee, there are five stages of grief:  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and\nAcceptance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell,\u201d he\ncontinued, with a dramatic pause, \u201cMost of the reporters I\u2019ve seen appear to\nhave completely leapfrogged over the first three stages and landed smackdab\ninto deep-seated depression.  I just hope\nthey can pull out in time to cover the next<\/em> \u2018once in a century\u2019 hurricane\nstory next week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asked if he had any advice for these downtrodden reporters, Dr. Ratnaster offered this piece of hope: \u201cLook, folks, don\u2019t let yourselves to get too down.\u00a0 There\u2019s bound to be an earthquake soon in some third world country that kills hundreds or even thousands!\u00a0 Or, maybe a group of school children might get trapped in a cave again!\u00a0 Just keep waking up each day with a spring in your step, and the hope that the next catastrophe strikes before your next news cycle!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, today\u2019s reality is that Hurricane Henri has turned out to be limper than a stalk of celery in July.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, maybe,\njust maybe, with any luck<\/em>, the next Big One is just around the corner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fighting back tears, reporters from all major networks bravely maintained their composure as the reality hit them that Hurricane Henri would not decimate the east coast. \u201cIt felt like a kick to the stomach,\u201d one MSNBC reporter confessed.  \u201cOne minute we\u2019re on seventh heaven, thinking, WOW, this is it!  Our ratings are going to shoot […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2746,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[1030,1032,1031],"class_list":["post-2745","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-hurricane-humor","tag-news-reporting-humor","tag-weather-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jocularious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Henri.jpeg?fit=3363%2C2819","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2745","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2745"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2745\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2752,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2745\/revisions\/2752"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2746"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2745"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2745"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2745"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}