{"id":1623,"date":"2019-08-09T19:13:19","date_gmt":"2019-08-10T02:13:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1623"},"modified":"2019-08-10T09:45:21","modified_gmt":"2019-08-10T16:45:21","slug":"the-secrets-inside-the-bun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/?p=1623","title":{"rendered":"The Secret’s Inside the Bun"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Americans\nwent on a health kick back in the 1970s. \nOrganic this, organic that.  Salad\nbars as far as the eye could see.  But\nthose days are over.  International House\nof Pancakes (IHOP) has created a hamburger WITH A PANCAKE IN IT.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it isn\u2019t\nserved with a ladle of corn syrup poured over it, I\u2019m sure it comes on the side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This burger\nactually came out in June, but I\u2019ve been too busy pursuing my own selfishly leisurely\nactivities (practicing the ukulele) to bring this exciting news to your important\nculinary attention.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can only\nassume that IHOP wasn\u2019t selling enough \u201cGrand Slam\u201d breakfasts, and so they decided\nto beef up their lunch menu.  I can picture\na room full of executives sitting around a conference table desperately brainstorming\nideas as brilliant as the \u201cGrand Slam,\u201d when an inbred board member with a name\nlike Charles Bennington Shoemaker III, sporting a belly practically bursting\nfrom his shirt, raised his hand in triumph. \n\u201cI\u2019ve got it!\u201d he announced.  \u201cA\nburger, but with a pancake in it!\u201d  The\ngroup no doubt universally nodded.  Then\nsomeone yelled out, \u201cWe can use the stale leftover pancakes from the morning\nshift!\u201d  This suggestion was met with another\nrobust round of applause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sure\nsomeone commented, \u201cBoy, that\u2019s one big IHOP pancake burger.\u201d  Then, the board plowed thousands of shareholder\ndollars in market research, to identify the perfect name.  And it was WAY \u201coutside the box.\u201d  With great fanfare, the company announce the\nnew \u201cBig IHOP Pancake Burger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it turns\nout to be healthier than you might have guessed.  I couldn\u2019t find a calorie count for the Big IHOP\nPancake Burger, but IHOP\u2019s Big Brunch Burger is a very slimming 1040 calories,\nso you can just imagine.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact,\nwhen I was searching for the Big IHOP Pancake Burger\u2019s calorie count, I couldn\u2019t\nfind it anywhere on IHOP\u2019s website.  If\nwhat I\u2019m imagine happened, happened. If IHOP\u2019s liability insurance provider in\nfact convinced them to remove this heart attack in a bun from their menu, my\nprocrastination in bringing this delicacy to your attention almost certainly\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saved your\nlife!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\nthank me later, maybe by buying me a tasty Grand Slam breakfast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

WAIT!\n You\u2019re not done yet.  Earn good karma!  Please comment and\nshare on Facebook, Twitter or your other favorite apps.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Subscribe!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s free and easy,\nand each new Jocularious column will arrive in your inbox.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a Three\nMinute Vacation for your Brain<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

______________________________<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also-<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out these great\nbooks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Lawyer\u2019s\nSong: Navigating the legal wilderness<\/em><\/strong> \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2K41Tax<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Rules for\nthe College Playground –<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2IqXxgn<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seven Secrets You\nNeed to Know to Hire the Right Lawyer –<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/buff.ly\/2roFIov<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Americans went on a health kick back in the 1970s.  Organic this, organic that.  Salad bars as far as the eye could see.  But those days are over.  International House of Pancakes (IHOP) has created a hamburger WITH A PANCAKE IN IT.  If it isn\u2019t served with a ladle of corn syrup poured over it, […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[791,790,787,788,789],"class_list":["post-1623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-big-ihop-pancake-hamburger","tag-hamburger","tag-ihop","tag-international-house-of-pancakes","tag-pancake"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1623"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1623\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1631,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1623\/revisions\/1631"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jocularious.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}