By Jack Edwards I’m traveling to South Korea this fall, so I’ve decided to be fluent in the native tongue when I arrive. You may be thinking, does he already have a basic proficiency? The answer would be, yes. I mastered how to say, “Where is the bathroom?” in Korean, quite some time ago. I […]
By Jack Edwards My wife and I went on a free vacation to Las Vegas last year. I’m still not sure who paid for it. It was either Donald Trump, the Hilton Corporation, or (and this is my best guess) the Las Vegas Mafia. Anyway, in exchange for suffering through a two hour timeshare pitch, […]
By Jack Edwards Our world is rapidly changing. Mankind’s behavior is wreaking havoc on our planet. Time is of the essence, and we must act NOW. Among our challenges is to save one of our humble creatures whose very existence teeters on the brink of extinction. I am speaking, of course, about the “thank you […]
By Jack Edwards I’m not going to point fingers, but there are people who think there is no difference between men and women (aside from a little plumbing). To these people, I have two words: Are you completely insane? Wait, that’s four words. My error. I meant these two words: Gold Rush. Gold Rush is […]
By Jack Edwards The time has come for the world’s most powerful nation to once again demonstrate its tradition of a peaceful transfer of power. Two mighty forces have stood toe to toe, pounding away with millions of dollars of negative ads, hammering each other with harsh rhetoric, and, at times, actually spitting globules of […]
By Jack Edwards My kids occasionally ask me questions which cause me to reference my free-range childhood in the rural town of Alsea, Oregon. This question for example, “Dad, when you were a kid, did you go to summer camp?” Me: “Yeah, it was called ‘Shovel the Manure Out of the Barn Camp.’” My summers […]
By Jack Edwards I recently escaped a harrowing near death experience. Luckily, I did not know about the danger at the time. I thought I was just going for a leisurely hike. No one told me I might end up a chew toy for a cougar (not the good kind) or a hungry bear. Once […]
By Jack Edwards Dog owners say that one of the best reasons to own a dog is that it motivates you to go out and walk. I finally realized why my wife doesn’t want to own a dog. She doesn’t need one. She walks me. As similar as I may appear to the average labradoodle, […]
By Jack Edwards People love to test their limits. Some sky dive. Others run marathons. But the real thrill seekers, the truly adventurous, march willingly into the knee-buckling stench of a blooming corpse flower. This explains why hordes of dare devils are currently lined up in eager anticipation outside the Denver Botanic Gardens. According to […]
By Jack Edwards I just discovered shocking news. Rhode Island is not an island. It’s just another pedestrian piece of the United States. The contiguous United States. Yeah, the whole island thing is a scam. Before you East Coast people get started, I would strongly recommend you zip it. If you think that we over […]